Eye Opener

You think your so wise.. You think no one could best you, let alone catch up with you.. You largely ignored others' capabilities as either too paltry or too scant.. You are so confident that you think of everyone as inferior compareD to you.. You judged others tremendously yet can't accept others' comments against you.. You wanted so badly to show how great you have become.. So badly to show off.. In defense of your insatiable and unrelenting PRIDE and of the lies you had been telling yourself, you were so keen on pointing out flaws in the 1st secti0n, that you yourself once did.. And they are aghast at you.. You made so many enemies, that you became so insecure and quite dubious of who you really are.. They opened your eyes.. Expounded every bit of self-doubt you had long ago buried.. Outwardly, your so firm.. Determined.. So people around you can't see how hurt you were.. How with every smirk and biting comment you made, your breaking inside.. That no matter how hard you try not to bother abouT what they said, a part of you believes it's true.. Too bad, isn't it, that the one thing that's been with you ever since: pride, has betrayed you.. You changed.. A lot.. And, your such a LIAR.. Playing with your heart as if it's a toy.. Lying even with the person you most cared for.. What a Liar you have become.. Lying as if its a natural thing.. Teasing your friends with things you also have in you.. Pretending is also your specialty.. Your such a great pretender that you always managed to fool the people around you.. You even managed to pull out of sitaati0ns with w/c your lies weer sorted out.. Pretending with HER is a real pain for you right? For your heart won't stop vying for HER.. If only people around you can see how you shake while talking to her.. How your eyes averted her's.. How you managed to drown your heart's cries to tell her how u feel.. How u managed to smile even if your crying inside.. How hard for you to weave stories about someone for her suspicions to subside.. How hard you try not to stammer or spill your long kept secret.. How you hated yourself after conversations for not telLing her that you love her.. Pretty pathetic for such a liar like you.. You're also a schemer.. Scheming thIngs have become your pastime.. Your greatest achievements and frustrati0ns could be traced with your scheming.. And yet you won't stop.. Sufferring chronic disappointments in exchange for a few minutes of bliss.. You have been waiting for too long, RIGHT? For the m0ment that you might strike again, against those persons who insulted you.. For the moment you would stop lying and pretending, especialLy to HER once and for all.. For the moment of truth whence you'll be able to accept how WRONG YOU ARE FROM THE START..
I hate you..
To myself..