Not Enough

I watched the stars as I ponder
A mystery that has made me wonder
A shadowy streak descend my face
True enough for me to daze
The stinging reality, oh so hurtful
My eyes, for all their worth, turned tearful
Please bear with me like you did
During those times when I'm ever in need
A terrible night last Christmas Eve
The night my heart turned to grieve
The night I free the emotions in me
The night I thought I will be free
You thought all was just play
And scripted all I will ever say
A trick again for you to be prey
Never be old enough if I may
The gravity of my words all too jovial?
That your affections will forever be filial?
See me shaking you can not
On my knees, my guts a knot
A lump in my throat I swallowed
A thing called Pride I enamored
I forced the words out my mouth
I checked myself lest I shout
You wouldn't believe me, oh for heaven's sake!
Words to make you believe, my mind I rake
Found none I sighed in frustration
Even the ones I used in my infatuations
So, hurriedly I said I Love You
I wish I could've added "is there a hope for us, two?"
But then, I've already hung it up
Though the words I said are not enough..